Are You Responsible to Yourself First?

03 Jul

A friend of mine always says “Ashley I like you very much, but if I have to make a choice between you and me, I am going to choose me every time.” This resonates with me for various reasons, and as I get older, I have begun to fully understand what my friend implies when she makes this statement.

Now, to put this in context, my friend is exceptionally giving. For about a month when I was going through financial struggles, she was nice enough to bring me a home cooked lunch to work every day (we were colleagues). Whenever I share with her a situation I am seeking a solution for, she helps me figure out a plan, and will include herself as a resource.

Her common phrase to me, is not one that promotes being selfish, but reminds me to not do something for someone else, at the detriment of myself.

For many years I have gone out of my way to assist others, improve my community, and begin to leave my mark on the world. I neglected my health, forfeited too much leisure time, and found myself “all over the place”. I do not regret the time I spent putting others first. I needed to do that, to get here; I needed to learn when and how to balance others needs and wants with my own.

Recently I was tested! (I always believe that when you take ownership of a self-discovery you are tested shortly after) I was offered a gig at a rate that was much lower than my previous pay AND more importantly, the job required an individual with education and experience that exceeded the rate of pay.

I turned down the opportunity and received a counter offer approximately $6 an hour more than the previous. I passed the test. I chose me!

Prior to becoming self-employed, I prayed about financial freedom, my desire for a schedule that aligned with my purpose, and enjoyment in my income activities and working environment. Accepting a job that pays too little, but requires the same amount of work is a HORRIBLE situation to be in. Not only are you not making enough money (hence always concerned about needing more money), but you do not have the time to work other jobs or pursue opportunities that help bring in additional income. If I would have accepted the original offer, I would have been choosing the company over myself.

The company would be moving forward; the company would be getting my quality outputs; the company would have greater stock due to my investment; the company would win.

I am choosing me!

How have you chosen yourself lately?

Below is a link to quotes that encourage you to put yourself first.


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7 responses to “Are You Responsible to Yourself First?

  1. Michelle Cox

    July 3, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    I love you Ashley S.C. Walls, and I will always count myself as a resource to you! I knew you were a go-getter from the very FIRST time I met you! Keep doing what you are doing and ALWAYS remembers that it is definitely okay to chose YOU!

    • Ashley S.C. Walls

      July 3, 2011 at 8:05 pm

      Thanks Michelle! You have taught me SO MUCH! And I will always be a resource to you.

  2. Rebecca

    July 4, 2011 at 7:25 am

    I chose me last year, and it has tested me in more ways than one. I didn’t realize how I was giving my power away (especially to family). I’m no longer willing to do things out of duty and obligation. I only do something if I truly want to. I realized I was giving way more than I was receiving. Yes, I was out of balance. Now, I give when I want to and receive in equally. I’ve had one heck of of year that has tested my strength and courage. Talk about character building. 🙂

  3. akmarnordin01dreambuilder

    June 13, 2014 at 8:10 am

    Love this Ashley. Good question to ask. I havent chosen ME over the past 7 yrs or so and this posting made me wonder of the choices I made.

    • Ashley S.C. Walls

      June 13, 2014 at 8:41 pm

      I am looking forward to hearing your testimony of choosing you!


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